then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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