Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
