if you like me you must not know who I am
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
