I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
