i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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