My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Quick, to the slutcave!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
