I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
