Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
