I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
