just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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