just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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