Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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