you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
