So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
