it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
