Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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