I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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