SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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