He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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