I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
