yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize