We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
