things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
As shirtless as possible
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
