you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
