Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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