He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
