We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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