Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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