we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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