im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
