she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Duck Duck Cougar?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
