My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
