you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
