Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
