You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
