you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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