well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
