I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
