And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
