The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize