Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
