you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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