New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
