I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
