Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
