I feel great
I just peed on a car
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize