seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
