You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
