Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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