Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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