come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
