pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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