Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize