Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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