OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
