Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
