A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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