hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
