I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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