im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
