Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
