Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
