So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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