Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
