I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Someone signed my nipple.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
