Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
