Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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