is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
