Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
