Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
