I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize